Odd Mom Rantings From Halloween

This was written on Halloween Morning and I am not sure why it never got posted, I think everything I posted about yesterday just got in the way. So that is why it is written in the present tense and I didn't edit it. I liked it the way it was. Hope you had a Happy Halloween

Halloween. For the first year since HistoryBoy started school, I am not room mom. I don't have to run a party and have games and crafts all set. I am not feeling overwhelmed, going what did I forget? In all honesty, I feel let down. Weird, huh?

I keep saying how much he is growing up. It is amazing how much he has grown and matured just this past summer in particular. Now here is the first holiday where it smacks me in the face and I really notice it. I am not needed to help out anymore. He is in middle school. Wow! He isn't a baby anymore, and while he hasn't been for a long time, I've always had to do things for school so it is a little sad.

Ok, it is also great that I don't have to bake cupcakes, or make sure I have enough crafts but I honestly did love doing those things. I didn't mind, it made me part of his day. I got to know the kids in his class by name. I would know which games worked and which didn't for the next party. A piece of is or I guess wasn't ready to let go yet. I feel a little bereft. Maybe they just don't do anything big for Halloween, maybe Thankgiving or Christmas and I will feel needed. It sounds so corny. Who gets upset about NOT having to be doing extra work. I think part of it also that I haven't been feeling well so maybe it is hitting me harder than it should, but don't worry I won't be so blubbery tomorrow. I mean we DO want our kids to grow up to be successful that is we are trying to do and I mean the kid is only in middle school. It's not like I shipped him to college. He still gets off the bus everyday and comes in and gives me a big hug and wants a snack so I am still needed, just a little less.

It's just the little less that scares me....

Until tomorrow or the day after at the latest

Don't forget to leave me a comment or email! I love hearing from you!!

Just a Note of Sucees and Being a Proud Mom

As you know, or as I mentioned in a previous blog, HistoryBoy has been sick for a while. Luckily, it is NOT pnuemonia. He just has a cough/chest cold/infection. He is on anti-biotics and this will hopefully work its magic!!

This blog is emails from the past few days that have gone back and forth between his teacher and I. They didn't start out so well. I emailed his teacher Tuesday because I was having a horrible time getting him ready. It goes on from there...

From: TeenaHope
Sent: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 6:53 AM
To: HistoryBoy's Teacher
Subject: Re: (No subject)
Was he ok yesterday? Getting ready for school today is horrendous. He is in tears saying he feels like he is going to throw up. Did anything happen yesterday? I keep asking him but all I am getting is he doesn't feel well.

From: HistoryBoy's Teacher

Sent: Tuesday, November 15, 2011 9:15 AM

To: TeenaHope

Subject: RE: (No subject)Hi,

He had a little rough afternoon yesterday. He didn't really want to do a power point project that we were completing, it took a while to get him started with that. He wouldn't speak to me about the project and was refusing to answer me when I was asking him questions. He also was not feeling real well. He was coughing a lot. So he may really not be feeling well. I hope he feels better. I hope this explains things better.

Homework for tonight

Read Ch9 in Loser

Math Boxes 3.4-3.7

Book report

Written spelling words sort 3

He will have to make up a science test

(AS a note he did stay home from school Tuesday and I took him to the Pediatrician gave him antibiotics this time and sent him for a Chest X-ray but told him he should try to make it through school the next day at least until we know the results of the scan)

From: TeenaHope

Sent: Wednesday, November 16, 2011 12:08 PM

To: HistoryBoy'sTeacher

Subject: Re: (No subject)

Please let me know how he is today. He is really trying. I know he feels rotten. I really appreciate your patience and understanding. I hope today is better than Monday.

Thanks,

TeenaHope

From: HistoryBoy's Teacher

Sent: Wednesday, November 16, 2011 1:58 PM

To: TeenaHope

Subject: RE: (No subject)

He has done GREAT today. He came in ready to work and has done a great job so far. He is still coughing a lot, so I am sure that is tough, but we made a big deal about how great he is doing today. We also discussed the inde card and earning extra band time. Yippee HistoryBoy!!!

So maybe we are on a road to recovery or at least he is in a mindset that he is going to get the word done either way which I am very proud of his for. He can do anything he sets his mind, WHEN he wants do. That WHEN is a biggie. LOL As most of us parents of Aspies know.

Until tomorrow or the next day at the lastest...

Tough Days/Weeks SUCK

I realized I haven't blogged in two weeks. I have had lots of thoughts, millions of them and I just didn't feel up to putting them out them. I apologize for my laziness if it can be called that. It wasn't exactly that. I will explain.

First, Halloween ran away with me. We (Angus and I) took HistoryBoy, HyperGirl and SassyGirl Trick or Treating. I didn't make it too far. I ended up sitting in the car and Angus walked with the kids. HistoryBoy ened up not feeling well and being sent home from school the next day. He hadn't had much candy just to let you know. He loves trick or treating but he is allergic to chocolate and peanuts so that limits what he can actually eat after the adventure. Doc says it's just his allergies. Fun.

He makes it through the rest of the week. He has the whole next week off due to election day and the teacher's convention and whatnot. We had great plans for this week. However, this cough has other plans for us. He seems to be coughing non-stop. Back to the doc we go... Doc says it could be a virus but he is going to a strep test to be sure. (This is Monday) Now HistoryBoy in the midst of all of this, is supposed to be training for his Black Belt in Karate and is feeling very poorly, which is affecting his performance, with less than a month less to go is making him stressed on top of everything else. So our nice week off turned into a week in bed sleeping, eating soup and drinking lots of fluids and only going out to go to karate class.

He went back to school yesterday to be sent home sick. He stayed home today. Back to the doc again. Today, the doc sent us for a chest x-ray, he didn't like the way he sounded. I have been saying he had a horrible cough from the beginning. It sucks. He sounds like Darth Vadar when he breaths today. He is blowing out so much snot I am going to have to buy stock in Kleenex.

Thankfully for me, I can still rest myself when he is resting. I can make soup in the microwave. He doesn't care. I can hand him a yogurt as a snack. and we can both go back to sleep. Doc says to try to send him to school tomorrow. So I am going to try. He is hoping he makes it through the day. I just want him to have a year where he doesn't pick up EVERY sticking bug that comes down the road. That is usually my job.

Until tomorrow or the day after at the latest...

Helping HistoryBoy Mange Stress

I can't just go up to him and say HistoryBoy Stop being so stressed out. If it were that simple, none of us would get stressed out, but I did some research. In doing so, I found our important skills to help him manage in stressful situations. These skills are awareness, acceptance, coping and dealing. Each skill has its own value in different situations. I will try to better explain them and how they apply to real life situation from what I have read and how we have used them with HistoryBoy.

Awareness

This is simply getting a better understanding of the situation at hand and their role in it. Basically what *is* going on? What am I *supposed* to be doing right now? It is amazing how often I can ask my son this question and his answer will be, I don't know. I have to keep reminding him to pay attention and be aware.

Acceptance

This is realizing that some things are within your control and somethings are not. You are only in control of you. You cannot control what someone else is doing or the noises they are making or whatever it is that might bother you and cause you stress. None of that is within your control. Only what you do is in your control. You have to accept that. This is a big one for our Aspies. My son gets very upset because sometimes he can't even control himself. Basically he feels he is fighting himself to keep control, and it is very hard for an 11 year old.

Coping

If you feel know you are going to be entering a stressful situation, prepare for it. This is where the strategies you have learned to help you cope will help. Will a walk before you help you settle down to work? Can a pair of sound-blocking headphones (these are AMAZING for HistoryBoy) enable you to be more productive in the classroom because the noise is overwhelming?

Dealing (Plan of Action)

This stage is where you make changes in your behavior to counteract or reduce the level of stress. What steps did you decide would help you cope better? Put that plan into action and stick with it. You will notice a HUGE difference in your child. I know I did. We were able to go out to eat at restaurants, go shopping in stores. We could do things that were previously impossible for him without these guides in place. It is amazing was a little (A LOT really) of structure can do for these kids.

Picture of the Week ~ Math!

This cartoon is great!
Who doesn't love Peanuts!?

So What, My Son Doesn't Like Your Noise, DEAL With It!

HistoryBoy has a bad habit of telling people to shut up, in public. Ok, we have gotten him to MOSTLY not say shut up but he still turns to me and ask me, "Can you please make them BE QUIET?!," as if I have some magic noise control over the universe and the people in it. In his world I do, I guess, up until now, I have modulated the noises as necessary, kept us away from the noisiest venues, brought along his head set when I thought he might need them.

But he is adapting on his own now, for the most part. He has been doing well. He has those headsets, but he doesn't use them all that much unless it is going to be REALLY loud. He knows how to modulate the noise for himself to a certain extent, but sometimes, a baby crying, or a couple arguing, and he just can't take it. It's as if his brain reached critical mass and is going to explode if you do not shut up right now. LOL

I feel bad for the mom of the baby, it's not her fault my son can't handle it. My son was probably that baby or that screaming kid at one point, and I point that out to my son. He tries to cope but I guess there are just certain noises that he just CANNOT tolerate for more than a certain amount of time. It is to the point where I am not going to force the issue, I just let HistoryBoy move on. Get out of this area HB. I am not done shopping for what I need but You can go stand at the end of the aisle and wait for me. He is old enough now.

As he gets older, I hope it gets better. I really do not want to see him doing this a few years from now, but he is 11 and it's a progressive thing right? So for now, everyone will just have to deal with the fact that my son doesn't want to deal with your noise.

Seriously... I'm Speechless!

So my little HistoryBoy comes home from school. He is doing well in school. He is getting good grades, and from all reports, he is doing well. Then I get a phone call. HistoryBoy isn't talking to the teacher in class. ?HUH? My kid? Not talking? Are you sure you mean my son? This is the kid we can't get to be quiet once he gets started so what is going on?

I try to sit down and talk to him. He sits down to eat lunch with me and I ask him about it. So HistoryBoy, are you not talking in class? He says Yes. Why aren't you talking? "I decided to be the quiet one." I nearly choked on my pizza. My kid the quiet one? I am not sure where this is all coming from and before I could get more out of him, he changed the topic and wouldn't answer anymore questions.

I talked to his teacher and yep, he isn't talking to her, he will talk to the other teacher, the aid, the other kids, but not to her. He will only give her hand signals and nod. I am trying to figure this out. There seems to be more going on here. I am wondering if my son is trying to drive his teacher insane, or if his aid told him to be quiet and he took it a little too seriously. So now I have to have a little sit down with him and get him to talk in class. Who would have thought I would actually have to ask my son to talk in class. Don't we usually want out children to be quiet in school, and I know that in the past my son has been one of those who cannot stop his flow of information. So we will see where this takes us.

Oh what fun. Middle School.

Things You (And I) Can Do to Relax

We all need to pamper ourselves sometimes. Even in these tough economic times, a little pampering can go a loooong way. Stress sucks, and our bodies already take quite a beating from what we and the world puts them through. These are my recommendations for what you can do to pamper yourself. These work for me when I am feeling down on myself and need a pick-me-up and you don't need Lupus to need a pick-me-up or for these to work, although I think sometimes we need an extra pick-me-up ma little more often. These are easy and not too expensive, because we all need to go lighter on the pocketbook these days too.

#1: The easiest and best way to relax is just to do that. Take a nap. Let the rest of the world wait on you. Your body is telling you to rest, so let it. We all know the "oh I can push myself a little more" but listen to your body and give it the break it needs.

#2: Take a nice long soak. There is nothing better for soothing those achy joints than a nice warm (or hot bath). I love soaking in a hot tub. I feel so loose after. It's like a nice warm hug all over my body. Along with the soak, I recommend either some music to relax you or a good book or both. I have sat and soaked for an hour in a bathtub with a good book.

#3: Curling up with a good book is not limited to the bath tub. Take some alone time and get that book you have been wanting to read (or re-read) and just do it. This is all about you, so take the initiative and go or it.

#4: Get a manicure. Believe me, it will be the best $10-20 you spend in a month. For me, it makes me feel pretty. My nails look all nice and healthy. It costs $10 each time and I go every two weeks, just for a manicure, not fake nails or anything. They just trim my cuticles, and make my nails look pretty.

#5: That movie you have been wanting to see. Go see it! I know it can be hard to plan to go to a movie. I know. Especially since it it hard to know how I am going to feel tomorrow, and I know that at least for me nighttime movies are a no-go. I can't sit in a theater when my body would rather be in bed, but most theaters have afternoon showings. That is my "good" time, as long as I have had my nap already, LOL. Sometimes doing something you enjoy makes your body remember you used to enjoy it too. (And sometimes the movie just stinks and you wish to have that 2 hours of your life back but THAT is a whole other issue! LOL)

#6: Too tired to go out, ok, rent a movie. Curl up in your favorite chair or in your bed, by yourself or with whoever you want to and watch that movie you have been wanting to. Who cares if it's someone else doesn't like it. This time is about you and what you want and need to relax and find yourself. Give yourself the time you need to just enjoy.

#7: I'm not always up to it, but a night out always cheers me up. A nice dinner either with my hubby or just my mom and me makes me feels better. Even when I don't feel well, which is most of the time, there is always stuff to be done, like cleaning and laundry, just mundane life stuff that I struggle to keep up with and a night out every once in a while helps me remember me and balance all that. I am not alone, even if I feel it sometimes.

#8: Buy yourself something silly. Don't go crazy or extravagant but if you see a shirt, hat or purse you like and it makes your happy buy it. I wouldn't recommend this on a daily basis but leave yourself a small budget for fun. Don't feel the need to deprive yourself. You will end up feeling more stressed and stress isn't good for anyone but people with Lupus have to be extra careful. Stress can be a trigger.

So all in all my advice is to live more, laugh more, love more. Just relax. Don't sweat the small stuff. We all have enough big stuff to worry about in our lives.

HistoryBoy - The Teen Years - An Early Start

Shoot Me Now. He is 11. Puberty is setting in and I am ready to kill him. He is growing like a week which is ok and acceptable. It is the meltdowns and the mouth I can't talk. This weekend. Well technically, last night, wait was it the night before, yes the night before and this morning. It is all blending together...

To start things all I will say he had a great check up with the Nuero. He said he is doing great and as long as there are no problems stick with what we are doing. And oh by the way is he starting puberty yet? I said He is 11. Doc said "Mom, let me give him a check." He gives HB a physical and says yes and explains the physical changes to me which I could be aware. Since I do not a check on HB I would not know unless he told me something was wrong down there. Although it did kinda go in one ear and out the other, to me what I heard was oh YAY hormones. Great! Here come the fun times. Now that was Thursday.

It is Monday. Did his brain somehow learn that because it had hormones it had to use them to defy his mom? I would have sworn I was dealing with an alien version of my child. Or the Linda Blair exorcist version maybe. We were very nicely going out the door to school when suddenly it became like a war. He wasn't going to school. I was horrible, I was mean. He screwed himself up in a ball on the floor. Finally we are out the door. Now he did wait to scream at me until after we were outside because he knew if he was close enough for me to smack him I would have for mouthing off. He would say something mean and stay on the opposite side of the car from me. He also refused to get into the front seat of the car. He decided it would be in his best interest to sit in the back, away from me.

This yelling settled into an Asperger meltdown that I could make no heads/tails of. When we got to school, I was going to in and get his aide to come out and give me a hand. He says to me "Mom aren't you going to talk to me?" I ask him is that what he wants? He says "Yes" So I go open the back dorr and climb in with him. He wraps his arms around my waist and just cries and says he doesn't know why. I ask Why what? Why did you get so upset? He says "I don't know why. I couldn't help it.

I feel so bad. It shouldn't be so hard for him. He is only 11. How can I help him? I can only do so much, I try to help when I see him struggle but unfortunately at 11, he is faster and stronger than me, if he really had a thrasher meltdown, I can't intervene, I could get really hurt. I see him wanting to bang his head against the wall and he struggles not to do it because I have asked him not to because I don't want him to hurt himself. He is really struggling and I do not want it to be this hard for him this early, because I know it is only going to get harder.

History Boy's Reading List Part 2

As I talked about in my last blog (I apologize or the delay in posting, hopefully I will explain in tomorrow's blog), getting HistoryBoy and most Aspies to read fiction is often difficult. But I did give you some ideas.

Once you get past the Magic School Bus and Magic Tree House. I tried a lot of different stories with him. I finally decided on Encyclopedia Brown. I loved them at his age. What is great about these book if you didn't know is that each chapter is a relatively short story. YOu get about 10 of these short stories contained in one book. The stories are logical with some humor thrown in. You are given all the clues to solve the mystery and them asked how did he solve it.

I will give you a clue to helping your child getting involved in these books. My HistoryBoy doesn't always take to new books at first. Your Aspie might be the same way, however, even at 11, my son LOVES to be read to. He loves to snuggle down and hear a story. I started this a LOOOOONG time ago. I shared my love of Dr Suess with him that way. He still loves to hear Green Eggs and Ham (even if he won't admit it). He snuggled on the other side of me when I have read it to my nephew.

So it doesn't have to be fact, fact, fact for our Aspies to love it. Sometimes, it can just be US that makes them love it. My son wants to read Harry Potter because I loved it, but he wants to read it with me. I said that is fine by me. There will probably be magical mysteries that won't make sense to his logical mind and I am ok with explaining them to him and there are some silliness in the first ones that I am sure he will thoroughly enjoy before they start to get darker.

Right now at bedtime, we are reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid ~ The Last Straw, which is Book 3 in the Diary of a Wimpy Kid Series. We are reading it together. He can read it on his own and sometimes he does but he enjoys it some much more when he is there laughing beside me. Sometimes I will read to him, sometimes he reads to me and I am making faces or groaning over the kids antics. If this is what it takes to help my son enjoy fiction books, I am all for it.

This school year. HistoryBoy took a WONDERFUL step further, he joined a BOOK club in school where they will read books and DISCUSS them once a week after school. He recieved his first books and it was a fiction book and he had no problem with it. He did ask me if I thought they would read a Titanic book or a WWII book. I told him, he would have to ask the teacher in charge. LOL. That's my HistoryBoy

History Boy's Reading List Part 1

If you've lived with or known HistoryBoy long enough, you know what his taste in books runs to. LARGE non-fiction books. Because seriously, what library could be complete without the classics you see here. If there is a train, plain, submarines, tank, animal, type of book or encyclopedia. It is probably well read on a shelf at our house. You CAN borrow it. Just ask ME. I won't mind one bit.

Now to let you know. It takes work, ALOT of work, to get our Aspies interested in something other than non-fiction. I stuck with what worked for a loooooong time. Which meant, the above mentioned books, which expanded his mind greatly but bored me to tears, but were not fiction AND school does require some fiction reading.

To that end, I found several AWESOME series.

This series is great. It mixes fact and fiction together and your Aspie will LOVE it. I know mine did. And if you can find a TV station that is running the program and mix the TV program with the books. I found it was wonderful. He wanted to read the book. What they have also done with this series which is AWESOME is made it into chapter books, so when you child ages out of the first level of books, there is still a set he can read. I know it was wonderful for HistoryBoy. They weave the Science facts and fiction so seamlessly even if your child isn't an Aspie, they will love them.


Once your child has graduated from the Magic School Bus chapter books or you just need more to entertain them (or yourself), I HIGHLY recommend The Magic Tree House. These cover so many Science and Social Studies subjects, HistoryBoy went gaga. The great thing about this series is they also have reference guides to go with each of the books. So once you read the books (or before you read it), you can have your reference knowledge fill, and then read then story that goes with it. Another GREAT feature of this series is that they are available in CD/mp3 form. So if you Aspie is like mine and sometimes like to take his books on the go, I can pop an mp3 on his ipod and he can listen to as he reads. It is wonderful. Now this series is recommended up to 3rd grade but I think for Aspie children who need encouragement to read fiction, these are a good choice. HistoryBoy still enjoys them.

More on this tomorrow.

HistoryBoy Trying to Understand Emotions

HistoryBoy's Asperger's has its ups and downs, as we all know. My least favorite difficulty is his expressing emotion and understanding emotion in others. He will most likely have this difficulty all of his life. We are working hard to overcome it, helping to read other people, and understand why people say certain things and do certain things. But I even have to pause sometimes and think about why I said something or did something because to me it is second nature.

In all fairness, HistoryBoy has gotten so much better at expressing his emotions than he used to be. He also understands some nuances better than others. While this is a good thing he still doesn't understand when someone says something in anger they don't always mean it or how when someone says one thing, they mean something else.

Our little HistoryBoy and HyperGirl are growing up. A little while back, they have decided they were boyfriend and girlfriend. To everyone, all that means is that they hold hands on the way to the bus sometimes. HistoryBoy is ok with that, it means his best friend is his girl friend, so I guess to his mind, life is perfect.

The other day, I do not know exactly what happened, except the two of them had a fight. They do that from time to time. One will huff and puff and go home. But this time HistoryBoy didn't come home to me, he went off to play with some other kids in the neighborhood and at dinner time I had to go search him out. He was all wound up and I had to really work to get him calm. He told me HyperGirl had broken up with him. He was devastated. Now I know that they had a fight and I know that she probably said this to him. But now I need to explain that this is not the end of the world. HyperGirl and he will most likely be friends again tomorrow, as always.

He and I talk about their past fights and how someone usually goes home mad. I asked him if he ever considered not being her friend, "but she said" Ignore what she said. HyperGirl says things when she is angry and she apologizes when she sees you or she hugs you the next day, doesn't she? "Yes." She has some of the same troubles expressing her emotions. She just overflows with them sometimes. "Oh, I get it. I think, but that is what I like about her. She can understand me too."

Don't worry. Talk to HyperGirl. I bet she misses you already.

October is Lupus Awareness Month

Everyone who knows me, I think is aware of the fact that I have Lupus. It's hard to miss, especially when it gets in the way of the events I want to attend with them, or even the movie night we plan to have. At this

point in my life, I have lived longer with Lupus than I have lived without. I know I had a normal happy childhood, if I was a rather predisposed to picking up germs, maybe that was a sign of what was to come, but in terms of my life without Lupus, I really don't remember it.

Someone asked me to describe Lupus to them. To me, it is like wearing a prickly blanket. This blanket may seem to be just fine. Maybe one or two pricks here and there, totally manageable, then one wrong turn and it shows all of its prickles and you are down and out for the count. Unfortunately, this blanket also masks so many things. It can also mimic so many others. That is what it makes it so difficult to diagnose and so hard to cope with. Often Lupus patients are not dealing with just Lupus. Lupus patients also often have depression, migraines, Sjogren's, Reynaud's and Fibromyalgia. Lucky us. Me, I have only 3 out of 5 of those. Go me!

I am not asking or sympathy. I am asking that awareness and knowledge be spread far and wide so people know about this disease. So that maybe one day there will be a cure, and it will not just be about surviving.

Picture of the Week

In our community, the ducks have been showing no fear this year.

I was sitting on the lawn, brushing Madison and this group came up

and decided it would be a good idea to investigate her.

BAD IDEA!

She starting panting and whining and when she finally

BARKED!

I think they got the idea to leave.

Dumb ducks.

Silly Short Story

So HistoryBoy comes home from school sick with a sore throat and a headache. It's his allergies and his molars are coming in. Not much we can do. Tylenol, Ambesol and rest. He is sitting in the living room relaxing, watching TV when HyperGirl comes over and wants to know if he wants to play. I tell her why he wasn't on the bus and I tell her he came home from school early with a headache. "Can he play?" I tell her since he came home from school sick he can't go outside to play. Then she looks at him and says "Do you want to play?" He looks at me. I say to her, If you want to play on the Wii or watch TV but I want him resting. I don't want him running around. She looks up at me and says "Ok." Then looks at him and says "Are you coming?" and runs out the door.

HistoryBoy just looks at me and says "I don't thinks she got it Mom."

Picture of the Week

It can't all be "You don't know the Power of the Dark side"

Sometime Darth Vadar just needs to relax.

Note on Past Meltdown

HistoryBoy doesn't want to ride the school bus. He rode it the first day to school and he rides it home but I CANNOT get him to ride it TO school in the morning, no matter how early we are ready. I fight to get him out the door. I have found I cannot mention the bus. If I just say I am going to take him to school, there is not a problem. However, if I say, it is time to head to the bus, we head toward meltdown city or at the very least make a stop in stubborn town, where nothing goes the way it is supposed to in the morning.

For example, if I need him to be dressed now, he will purposely undress and shower, even though he had his shower last night. He swears he didn't get all the "stink" off last night and needs to wash again. I was in the kitchen making breakfast when he pulled this fast one so I yell for him to make is VERY fast because it is time to leave NOW. I toss a towel into the bathroom and his clothes in there as well. He FINALLY gets out, BUT he no longer want to wear THOSE clothes. He has to wear different clothes.

He is FINALLY FINALLY dressed and we are out the door to school when he decides to talk to me about the bus. He doesn't sit with his friends and he doesn't like it. He doesn't feel safe like he did before. Is anyone picking on you? "No, but no one talks to me either" And there it is. He feels isolated away from friends on the bus. The are only a few seats away but they might as well be miles as far as he is concerned. He can't yell on the bus to them and he won't bother the boys in front of him because of past issues with them. He tolerates it on the way home from school because he is coming home to me, but on the way to school, he just can't do it.

I put a word into the teacher. Have to see if it helps. I don't want him to feel overwhelmed on the bus to school. He needs to feel safe on the bus to school. He should be able to choose where he sits and not be randomly told to sit with the boys, (who he hasn't gotten along with in the past) Have to see what tomorrow brings.

Audition!

Yes, HistoryBoy had an audition. We should hear back by Sunday if we get a call back. He was very nervous. I shouldn't have told him anything about it. Then he would have walked right in and been himself. He was subdued below his normal self and he normally loves auditions. I wanted him to be prepared and it was for a movie not just an extra. So he was nervous. But they like him, and LOVED his look and his pictures and wanted to definitely hold on to his pictures. So even if this isn't a match, maybe they have something that is. We will cross our fingers and hope.

This is what he keeps telling me he wants to do. He wants to acts. He wants to sing. As long as he wants to keep trying I will take him on auditions. We have prepared him though that he could try out for hundreds of things and maybe get one, maybe none at all. He still wants to try, he enjoys it. As long as he enjoys it, then it is what we will do. The moment, he no longer enjoys it. That is the moment, we will stop, and reconsider. We want him to be a kid.

He hopes to be the next Justin Bieber or Zack and Cody! LOL! He's got the looks and the voice. Watch out world! If he decides to come!!

Blogging for a Better Day

I want my life to get easier. I want HistoryBoy's life to get easier. And I know neither one of those things is going to happen soon.

I wake up needing several hours more sleep but HistoryBoy needs to get off to school so I am up to get him up. He is will not get up for me today. I do my best cajoling, tickle, game, blanket pulling. I finally resort to yelling which I know is NOT the way to go because it will NOT work out well. Those of you if you are parent of an Aspie, you know how it can be. Why does he chose today, when I can't handle it to push all my buttons. I know that yelling is NOT going to get the response I need. Unfortunately, I am ready to cry myself because I feel so poorly. I yell for him to get out of bed now I have had enough of his games and he starts banging his head against the wall. I have to just walk away. GREAT start to the morning.

This meltdown he had; I should say that it has been coming on since last night. I noticed he was off but I couldn't put my finger on its source. He was clingy and non-responsive but he can be that way at night when he is tired sometimes so I shooed him of to bed. We read a few chapters of his current book and he fell asleep. And I wake up to HistoryBoy from hell. Is it hormones? Anxiety? Do I need to wake him up earlier? Isn't 6 am early enough? eek!

He finally calmed down. I calmed down. He finally got out of bed and got dressed on his own. THEN decided to take a shower which didn't thrill me but we were late to school already so what was another 15 minutes at this point, right? He then was all dressed, and ready and wanted to sit on my lap and nuzzle me. At this point, I am calm and collected but I am at a complete loss. What is going on? Why is he ok now but was at Defcon 5 just 30 min ago? He is holding onto me and wanting my attention and arms wrapped around him and I am trying to escort him out the door.

He goes into school easily enough, but what about tomorrow? Unfortunately I do not have the energy to try and figure it out now. I need to go back to bed. Like I said in the beginning of this blog... I want my life to get easier. I want HistoryBoy's life to get easier. And I know neither one of those things is going to happen soon...

And Back to School Night!!

Well you know the IEP went well, so did Back to School Night! I had already met the teacher, so that was easy. I just had to introduce Angus to them. Then we had to sit down and listen to Mrs. S's presentation about the school year and what is expected of our little cherubs. Nothing unexpected there. The only bad think is that these desk have no storage space so our kiddies have to keep
EVERYTHING on top of their desks ALL day. You should see how they are stacked. They will get lockers...eventually, but not yet. They are still in the adjustment period. I am not sure who decides when they are adjusted enough to get a locker. Is there a locker fairy who taps each kid on the head and says "You are now locker ready!" And suddenly They Are!... Nah I don't think so.

But Anyway. So After the presentation, we signed up for the PTO, and checked out the band room. Yes our HistoryBoy is going to be in the band! I will tell that story tomorrow maybe. :-) All in all Back to school night went well. I even ran

into an old friend. Her son is in HistoryBoy's class! When I realized it, I texted her! Yes, I texted her while sitting in the Mrs S's Back to School Night presentation. I said "YAY! Our kids are in the same class! We can hang out now! Not like we couldn't hang out before, but now we have an excuse! LOL!" I was all non-chalant about the texting, hiding my phone under the desk while doing it, and she took her phone out of her purse to check hers, and laugh and look at me, lol!

I think HistoryBoy and I are going to have a fun year!

IEP Meeting went AWESOME!

Guess What?! History Boy has started a new school year! Did you know that? I bet you forgot! But that isn't the best part. He made it through the first week. He likes his class. He likes his teachers and his aide. Yay! :-)

But on Day 4 of school I have an IEP Meeting, and not just any IEP Meeting. It is the IEP meeting that is where we discuss his review of his classification and could be retesting and all that good stuff. You moms know what I mean. It comes up EVERY 3 years years and HistoryBoy is due. So I get to meet his teachers at this meeting, only 4 days into school. I am a little scared. I know my HistoryBoy seems happy, but well I know my HistoryBoy. LOL.

I meet Mrs. S and Mrs. H and they we discuss HistoryBoy and they have read over his IEP and most of the stuff is listed as "as needed." I tell them what may be more "needed" than others and how to handle his outbursts of knowledge. It is hard to stop out Aspies flow of information once it is going and apparently she is already aware of this on Day 4 but I gave her some suggestions so he doesn't feel bad for sharing, like "If we have time later we can come back but we have to move on to ... this or give someone else a chance etc" I have found these to help me when I need him to slow his flow a little. It doesn't always work. Sometimes he just has to say what he has to say, but sometimes it does.

Once we all settle into IEP meeting mode, we discuss that YAY! we are just going to keep his placement as is! No retesting. If I am happy with his current level of service and we know he still qualifies for services, he does not need to be retested. So no pull out for all those tests again. I am SOOO happy. That would be so hard for him as his is just starting the whole middle school thing. So NO RE-EVAL! NO RE-DETERMINING Eligibility! YAY! He is just eligible because he is! We know he has ADHD and Asperger's and OT isssues and it is documented and we have observed! I am so glad his teachers and therapists were so on the ball. We were able to discuss and fine tune things yesterday and make sure the teachers were aware of what HistoryBoy can do, but he also has to have consequences for misbehavior and such.

Now we can just move forward from this point. I am not saying it will not be a bumpy road. This is middle school. A whole new venture for my growing into a young man HistoryBoy. He needs to take more responsiblity for himself. He can't rely on mom to check everything for him all the time. Pretty soon (age 13), he will be included in these meetings with me and have a say himself. I am so proud to know I have help to mold him to this point. He is my greatest achievement, my little miracle, my angel. I love you HistoryBoy.

Top 10 terrific traits of autistic people

Today's blog is not written by me.

I am giving you a task today.

Please read this from the Autism Support Network

I think it is AWESOME! (And True!)

Top 10 terrific traits of autistic people

Medication Free Summer? Oh Heck No!

Ok so summer is over and this is really just because HistoryBoy and I were talking about it and joking.

For those of you that know my HistoryBoy, you know I gave birth to a stick. For a brief period around 5 months or so, he was a chubby little thing, but no one seems to remember except the camera. He is nothing but limbs for the most part, bony limbs. So we are supposed to "fatten" him up so his medication doesn't affect his growth.

Also, for those of you that know him, you know that he eats like a house on fire. There is always food in his hand and/or mouth AND he is ONLY 11. IMAGINE him in a few more years, I am going to absolutely broke! I am going to need a 2nd mortgage just to FEED him. Forget about college! Aren't these ADHD meds supposed to curb his appetite a little. Can you imagine if we actually *DID* a medication free summer?

Well since HistoryBoy is 11 now he does like to sleep in thankfully, so that does give me a few hours of extra money saving food hours. So maybe I don't have to feed him breakfast, just lunch and dinner and a few snacks in between.

DARN I forgot something. One of those Aspie traits that DRIVES me nuts. Everything has to be in order. Even when he wakes up late, he likes breakfast, even if it is *close* to lunch. He can't skip a meal. If we have a late lunch/early dinner, he still need another meal because you can't combine those in his mind. You need order. Pesky Asperger's messing up my ADHD meal skipping intentions.

Hmmm maybe I can buy cheaper food. Yeah that it's more junk food that will just sit in my pantry because he won't eat it because he doesn't like it. Oh wait. DOH! Foiled again! Oh well I guess it is just lucky for me that HistoryBoy isn't going on a medication free summer any time soon, at least as long as HistoryBoy himself has something to say about it, from the Follow Up to The Medication Game. His quotes are in the last two paragraphs of that blog.

Hope you enjoyed this!

Saturday Fun Means Sunday Sucks

This past Saturday was a great day for several reasons. We started off the day as usual. HistoryBoy had karate. Then my good friend Kathy came down to visit. We see each other maybe once a year if we are lucky. We went to college together and she currently lives in Connecticut so it is tough to get together often. But it was so great to see her. We has breakfast, early lunch at Popeye's. LOL

We then went our community town fair. It turned out to be a gorgeous day. We didn't expect it to be so warm or so sunny, otherwise I would have had sunscreen and possibly an umbrella. I think I melted. I pushed myself because I wanted to spend time with Kathy and I promised HistoryBoy that he could ride the ride. Ok, so by the time we got through the booths to the rides I was so done in, he got to chose 3 rides but he was good about it. Kathy had to leave to go meet up with her family and I had to went home and CRASHED.

On Sunday, I couldn't even get out of bed. Ok, I got out of bed to go to the bathroom, none o us wanted to deal with THAT. But otherwise, I was in bed. I was so sore, so achy. My head hurt.

It's the same story again and again. I think you have read it before. I have a nice day. Then an sucky day or two or three. How to avoid it is what I want to know? But would I trade the time I spent with my friend? Or the enjoyment of watching my son play with his friends?

I need a little button like a Thanksgiving turkey that says your done, stop now and you will be fine, no repercussions. I can tell when I am getting tired, don't get me wrong, and I know when I am pushing the envelope and stealing tomorrow's spoons, but I know I didn't steal a week's worth of spoons so what gives? I am just feeling a little frustrated. The answers are NO, I wouldn't trade any of these moments, I just have to get my body to keep up.

Picture of the Week ~ Sexy!

David Boreanez (YUM!)

Because sometimes you just need to see a pic of a hot guy sitting in a tub looking all hot and sexy. Yum! Besides he is one of MY faves.

First Day of 5th Grade

He woke himself up. He set his alarm for 6 am and got up all on his own. I reminded him that he needed to get in and out o the shower because he dad needed to get in at 6:15 and he said "I know." He hopped in and out of the shower got dressed, ate breakfast and was ready in no time, with an hour to spare before we had to leave for the bus. He was happy with that. He said "I wanted to be able to play with my toys before school" I said fine as long as you stop when I say it is time to go.

I went and flopped on the bed for 45 minutes. No need for me to up if he is all ready. LOL. I set my alarm for 7:20 so we would make it to the bus on time. We did with no hitches. He really didn't want to stop playing, but he didn't want to miss riding the bus with HyperGirl and SassyGirl either since this was the first time they has ridden the bus together in two years. We waited to for the bus. I snapped pictures like I do EVERY year of his waiting for the bus. I know one year he is going to be like "M-O-M that is enough!" But it wasn't this year, so I got my pics. Bus comes and off to school they go.

I am not sure yet what time the after school bus is supposed to be here because it is only the first day. By next week they will be in full swing and have everyone where they are supposed to be but not yet so buses run late. So I wait at home instead of sitting by the bus stop for him. He gets home. I ask how he day was he says "Good." I asks for more. I get nothing. I am not surprised. Some days he is not talkative. Us moms of Aspies know how it can be, but I can usually cajole he out of a funk so long as he isn't in meltdown mode, if I try. So I try.

I make him a snack. I take it to him in his room, where he is flopped on his bed. I try to ask him about his day again. He says to me, "Mom, can't you just leave me alone. I just want to be alone." I say ok and try to hug him and get pushed away for my efforts. Was it a bad day at school or was he just overwhelmed? Or is he just tired? Or all of the above? I guess we will have to wait and see. Only tomorrow will tell.

Some Days I Forget...

Some days I forget, or almost forget HistoryBoy is different from any other child because things are going so well. No using mommy as a life life, no hiding, no meltdowns, just a kid being a kid. It was great. Until yesterday...

I am not sure what set it off, or even if it had a trigger. He was playing nicely with his cousin in the morning but even then I could tell he was a little off because I kept having to call him and repeat myself. Then he wouldn't eat lunch even though it was pizza, and if you know HistoryBoy that is one of his favorite food groups. Pizza, Chicken Soup, Grilled Cheese, Hot Dogs and Steamed Dumplings. If I made these every day of his life the child would be happy as a clam. Thankfully he can and will eat other foods too but is VERY gratefully when I have his favorites. But anyway he wouldn't eat, I got him to drink some water but i think he took two bites of pizza.

We head home. It is time for me to lie down and rest. He comes and lays next to me and clings and I ask him what is wrong. He can't or won't say. He just clings. I cuddle him as best I can. I fall asleep and when I awake I realize he has fallen asleep too. I have woken just in time for me to leave for my Doctor's appointment, and I gently awaken HistoryBoy to take him with me. He clings to my arm and doesn't want me to go. I have to go so, I tell him I will drop him off at Mimi's house and he can get some cuddle time from her while I go to my appointment.

I call my mom to make sure she is OK with this arrangement and she says she is. I also let he know he is way off. I do not know what is off but he is not talking, just clinging. I didn't say it but I was thinking, at least he isn't melting down. So I went to my appointment and came back. We had dinner at my mom's and HistoryBoy did eat a little Spaghetti and Meatballs. Not as much as I would have liked. I only gave him a little and he didn't eat all of it, and he wouldn't drink any of his milk. He just kept telling me he was full. After we cleared the table, he wanted me to sit with him in the living room. I sat down and he climbed into my lap. I do need to point out that HistoryBoy is now 11. There is a lot more to him, mostly limbs, looooong legs, than there used to be; he weighs 75 lbs. I shift his weight so it is not really on me and more on the chair. I try to get up after a few minutes but this is where he wants me, close to him. I shift over, so he can sit next to me in the chair and he "allows" that as long as I don't leave him.

After a while we leave to head home. At home, I try talking to him but he isn't opening up. He just says he feels off. So either he doesn't know what is wrong or can't put it into words. A little while later there is a knock at the door HyperGirl and her sister, SassyGirl (HyperGirl came up with the name for her sister) came over. They seemed to bring HistoryBoy out of his funk. He showed them, his new room, which was almost done. And he chattered to them some which I saw as a good sign.

On another note...
The first thing out of HyperGirl's mouth when she saw HistoryBoy's room was "Cool, bunk beds! When can I stay over?" Don't worry Michelle I said NO! Then SassyGirl pipes up "Well I can stay over, I'm not his girlfriend!" Again I said No. LOL HistoryBoy was just laughing, which I took as a good sign.

I'd love to hear from you! Leave a comment or email me at teenahope@gmail.com

Picture of the Week

Another GREAT T-Shirt!

This one is PERFECT for me TOO!!

(JUST LIKE THE LAST ONE!)

WAY too Literal

We all know that our Aspies can be literal. HistoryBoy is very much so but it has become less and less noticeable. Maybe I am just used to it, or maybe it is because he knows he is too literal and has been using his literalness for humor with plays on words and so forth. I am happy about this because from I have read and learned from others, for most Aspies, a sense of humor is non existent but back to my point.

As I started out, HistoryBoy is very literal, I can't use colloquialisms. They just make him go huh? most times. I remember arguing with my brother one time and telling him to take his head out of his butt. HistoryBoy looks at my brother then looks at me, looks back at my brother then tells me "Mom, his head isn't up his butt. How would he get his head up his butt anyway? It's too big." I think we all laughed over that one.

Another time he wasn't paying attention to me, and I called him a space cadet. He asked me if that was an astronaut. I said not exactly. LOL

I told him he was giving me grey hair. Honestly I only have about a dozen or so grey hairs but I attribute each and every one of them to him. And he kept asking me how can he cause my hair to turn color, and he wanted to know what he has to do to make it change color. I am not sure if he wanted to understand the phenomenon or see it in action.

I have been noticing him literalness less and less though. However yesterday we were at a get together and a made a comment. He had a flying monkey stuffed toy. And I made the comment I might not be quoting it exactly right (from an 80s or 90s movie) "and monkeys might fly out my butt" HistoryBoy stared at my butt, looks at his toy monkey and says what? I laugh and repeat what I said. He looks at me again confused, "How is that even possible?" I burst out laughing.

I love my son, he makes my life interesting.

Yes, I Read Teen Fiction and Like It!

Angus makes fun of me for the books I like to read, when I have time in between the naps I take when my body needs to recover and keeping up with HistoryBoy. I love to read. It keeps my brain active and for a little while, I get to relax.

Ok, so I read every Harry Potter book, had them preordered so I'd have them when they came out. I even stayed up all night to read the 7th one. Well my dad wanted to read it and I wanted to be able to give it to him, so when I handed it to him them next day, he was a little surprised. LOL Yes, so maybe HistoryBoy came by some of his obsessive qualities naturally. I have seen each movie in the theater. Oops that is not true I missed one of the more recent ones because I was too sick to sit through it. I own all of the movies on DVD as well. GAGH, Angus will yell I am supposed to say I own them on Blu-ray. LOL Bit of a tech freak is my Angus.

Yes, I also read The Twilight series and loved them much to Angus' disdain. I own them as books and on my e-reader. Angus refused to take me to see the movies when they came though out and since I am not a go to the movies by myself person, which he knows, I had to wait for them to come out on video, MEAN ANGUS! Love you though. But he has NO CHOICE, he is taking me to see Breaking Dawn. :-)

I have read Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. I read all the way to #9 and have 10-13, I just haven't picked them up to finish. I really to want to know what happens to those poor kids, but I think a Harry Potter Book or Twilight book came out so I stopped reading the series.

I have also read Alyson Noel's Immortal Series #1 - 5 and am eagerly awaiting #6 which just came out, I just have to go pick it up. YAY!

I am thinking about starting the Pretty Little Liars Series, which I am hearing all kinds of good things about. I got them for my e-reader. So if I don't like them, I am not too committed.

I regularly browse the Young Adult section for new books that look interesting. And yes Angus is laughing. Come on guys, there is only so much, "Encyclopedia of WWII Aircraft" that I can take learning about. Sometimes I need something silly and fun. :-)

Have any other suggestions for me, just email them along.

Picture of the Week

BEST T-SHIRT EVER!!

Lupus Doesn't Travel Light ~ My Journey Into Lupus Continues

This is a continuation of my blog from the beginning of June about my journey into Lupus.

If you recall I finished with Unfortunately, Dr. Quinn's diagnosis and estimate for my recovery time now put paid on me returning to school for the rest of the school year. She thought I was recouping well but I wouldn't be well enough to return at all for my freshman year. (I cried for days over that) She wanted me work work on getting healthy so I could go back next year. She couldn't guarantee I would feel up to everything I had done in the past, but I was young and she hoped that since we had caught and diagnosed it "relatively" quickly. (At the time 4 months, did not feel like a quick diagnosis, but in talking to people who have taken years and years to reach this same place I had, I suppose it is), that I would recover most if not all of what had been lost this past few months. I was to continue my regimen of vitamins, anti-inflammatories, rest and swimming.

So began my life with Lupus.

I was very lucky. Dr Quinn's predictions about my youth, my swimming and the fact that my lupus had been *caught* in 4 months were right. I was able to feel almost 100% back to my normal self in the fall when I returned to school. I went out for the soccer team in the fall and then back to the swim team in the winter.

I will say that I was mostly in denial at this point about having Lupus. My mom had gotten me books and taken me to a support group but to me, these people were old AND their stories were SCARY and NOT me. I was F-I-N-E. Funny thing is, I had no problem telling someone I had Lupus. I just pretended it didn't affect me.

I made it through High School. There were up and downs. I don't think I had a year of high school where I missed less than 25 days. If someone sneezed across the room, I got sick and it wasn't for just a day. 24 hour bugs would knock me out for almost a week. But I still pretended everything was normal. Ok, so I had to take meds now to make sure I felt ok, and I had to get regular bloodwork done, but I was OK.

College was where I had to face my limits a little more. I was relatively healthy but I got sick very easily. In the winter, it was awful. It was like one big cold followed by the flu, followed by god knows what else. I didn't get even remotely healthy until spring. I do not remember being healthy for too many Christmases, if any at all. Also, I knew that if I pushed myself, I felt worse and it took me longer to get better. I changed my outlook from Ostrich head in the sand to ok, this isn't going away, but I am not going to let it stop me.

And I didn't. I inherited that stubborn gene from my mom and grandmom. Just ask my dad!

Memories of What Is To Come.

I thought I would relay some humor and struggles that I know are about to start up as school starts up again, and I am SO looking forward to it...

Some days things just don't go your way...

This is how a Tuesday started out (several months ago)

The day started out ok, if slowly for me. I was still recouping from overdoing it last week so when I snooze the wake up alarm to get my son up for school, it is not surprising. I felt achy, so I call my dad and ask if he can take HistoryBoy to school because I feel not quite up to the task the morning. He says ok, and I begin my morning task of getting myself out of bed and HistoryBoy ready for school.

Waking him is an effort this morning. He clings to me like a lifeline. "Cuddle me please" "HistoryBoy, It is already late, you need to get a shower and get ready. Your grandpop will be here to pick you up for school shortly." "But mom I didn't get cuddles" I think leeches cling less. I finally peel all the tentacles off and am able to aim HistoryBoy in the direction of the bathroom and I am even nice enough to start the shower running for him and push him in that direction while I got see what I can make or breakfast.

Normally, it would be a banana oatmeal but I decide to do mini (microwave) pancakes because it is quicker and I really do not feel up to standing in the kitchen long. Ok, breakfast made. Let's see how much progress has been made in the bathroom. Apparently, none. Instead of a clean HistoryBoy, the is a Lego/ WWII battle going on in the shower. When I tell him, ok let's go, time to get dressed, he starts to cry and says but I didn't get washed. We have started off well haven't we. Ok, HistoryBoy, close up your battle and get washed, 2 minutes, Grandpop will be here. Did you get your clothes out? "No, I thought you were going to do it when you made breakfast."

I wonder if he thinks I have a magic dresser for him in the kitchen that pops out clothes while I try to "cook" Ok, yes the washer and dryer are in the kitchen but I did not do laundry today, did I? He whines the whole time he has to get out. He didn't have enough time in the shower. Now there is a knock at my door, it's my dad here to take his royal sluggishness to school for me and he is standing here naked in a towel. HistoryBoy then tells my dad "Mom didn't get me clothes, that is why I am still naked." I didn't kill him, no I didn't... It took ALOT of restraint on my part.

My dad got him off to school and I went back to bed. Hello Day, can we start over?

Insights into the Mind of an 11 Year Old

These little nuggets of info come straight from the horses mouth... Or rather HistoryBoy mouth as it were.

HyperGirl: "She is my best friend. She is pretty much a female version of me."

Random-ness: "Ahhhh" What's wrong? "There are three of me in this mirror with bed head!" I nod in agreement. "Wow! Imagine Three of me! I think that is too many HBs don't you, mom?"Definitely! I don't think I could handle 3 of you. "Yeah two of me could take over the world! Three of me would take over the whole universe!" W

Cellphone: HistoryBoy just turned 11 and is not allowed to have a cell phone although he really wants one. So here are some pieces I think you will enjoy.

1> Why do you need a cell phone? "So I can call you or text you when I get out of school." We will 5 minutes from the school, your bus comes right after school to drop you off. What part would I miss? "But I could TEXT you. You LOVE texting!"

2> HistoryBoy and I have come to an agreement about the cellphone. When he no longers misplaces his mp3 player and gameboy on a regular bases, then we can discuss a cellphone. Until I can ask his at anytime of day where those items are and he knows where they are, no cell phone. He agreed to it. He has asked about it a few times since and I simply ask, Where is your GameBoy? He says "I don't know," sighs and then walks away to go look for it.

3> (THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE) Now HyperGirl has a cellphone and has bugged HistoryBoy (when she knows where her cellphone is) about when he is going to get a cell phone so she can call or text him. I caught this conversation between them while they were playing one day. "When I are going to get a cellphone?" HyperGirl asked HistoryBoy. He replied to her when I stop losing my GameBoy." She asks "So when is that going to be?" Looking hopeful. HistoryBoy doesn't even look up from the game they are playing and says "Never." I nearly choked in the other room. At least he is honest!

Is it any wonder that I ADORE being his mom 99% of the time? The other 1% o the time I spend threatening him that I am going to sell him on eBay. When he tell me, "HAHA They are SO gonna want their money back!"

Leave a comment or email me

teenahope@gmail.com

Bullying 102

In a previous blog, Bullying 101, I talked about how I realized that bullying isn't something that might happen, it already has and I am prepared for it. At least I hope I am. But I got an introduction to a little more of it this summer.

Sitting by the pool, HistoryBoy comes up to me and asks to make this girl leave him alone. I do not see the girl but if she comes back I tell him let me know and I will help referee. Later on in the day, I am resting and my mom and HistoryBoy that a girl was taking their toys and harassing him so she brought him up to chill out. I could see he was on the verge of a meltdown, so it was probably a good plan.

We headed down the next day to the pool, and the girl was nowhere to be seen. However, later on in the day she shows up and sits down right next to where my son and his friends are playing. I keep an eye on them because I do not want any trouble but she seems intent on reading her book and not bothering the boys. A Little while later, HB is back asking me to make her stop. Now I have been watching, she hasn't been moving closer to them or taking their toys today, so I do not know what the problem is.

To solve the mystery, I move him and his stuff to the other side of the pool. I notice now that she is periodically getting up and walking by the boys. I can't hear what she is saying to them, if she is saying anything, but she is obviously agitating Matthew just because she keeps coming by. I call him over to me. Apparently she has a book, that I am not familiar with that has alot of cats in it and some of them seem like gross, grotesque pictures to HB. He doesn't like it and has told he doesn't want to see them but she keeps walking by. I had seen the last page she had open, I couldn't tell exactly what it was, but it wasn't a cute cuddly cat. As we walk back into the pool, he makes a comment to her about stopping, those pictures are just evil. She looks at me, and flips her book open to a picture of a kitten and says "Is this evil?" HB is unwinding quickly, "That's not what she was showing us." I believe you. Just stay away from her now.

Now I know the score. She was probably only a little older than HistoryBoy. Maybe 13 at the oldest I think, but she wanted to mess with him. I don't know why. Maybe it was because he was the only one who freaked out when she tried to freak the kids out and she liked it. Bullying like this is never easy to spot. I could have been completely unaware of it if I wasn't as in tune with my son and his reactions. I know he wasn't lying to me, not that he can't exaggerate but I had seen her as well, so I knew she was up to something. A part of me wishes I had confronted her and made her apologize or at least explain her actions but she is not my kid or my responsibility. I removed my son and his buddies from the situation, so I felt that was enough. But if I see her next year and she tries it again! GAME ON! LOL

Thankfully she checked out a day or so later and we got a influx of new kids. Which was both good and bad. More on that tomorrow.

Feel free to leave a comment or email me at teenahope@gmail.com

Picture of the Week

Who doesn't?

All Kids Are Hyper Aren't They?

Have you heard these? I know I have.

1. It's just a phase...

Well, when do you think it stops being a phase and starts being a problem? I know my son was hyper (VERY) hyper from an early age. For the first two weeks of his life he only slept 15 minutes at a time, afraid he was going to miss something. You know how the first pics of babies are all pink with closed eyes. Not mine, that's him at the right eyes open. What's up world, here I am. And he wouldn't close them for very long for the next two weeks. It was a LOOOOONG two weeks. Maybe that should have given me an ADHD clue. LOL

2. Oh, all kids are hyper at that age...

I know a lot of kids are hyper. I have seen it, and I can tell the difference when watching kids play the difference (usually) between regular hyper and ADHD hyperactivity. If I can get and keep that hyperactive child attention for a minute or two without magic or medication, then they might just be hyper. But if I have to hold the child down and threaten to tie then to it and repeat, Please look at me. Are you listening? Can I ask you a question? ADD just might be a problem.

These type of helpful comments ones I have heard at every age, so apparently EVERY age kids are hyper. IMAGINE that one. Maybe you just have a hyper child like I do. Hmmmm, something to think about isn't it?

3. Boys have just so much more energy than girls...

Apparently parents that see HistoryBoy play hyperactively are also experts. I hear, "boys always have so much energy." "Oh he is an active one, isn't he?" Do these people never see children play, that my son is such a wonder? Maybe I need to let loose his Aspie-ness on them, then they can really sit in awe. And if boys have so much more energy than girls, these same people have never seen him play with HyperGirl obviously. I need to find these people and put them in a room with both HB and HG. THAT would be *GREAT*!!

I was also once asked if medication "fixed" HistoryBoy problems. Since I don't view him as "broken" and he doesn't need to be "fixed" unless he is a dog or cat, I did my best not to whack the oh so inquisitive person upside her helpful head with my overloaded purse, maybe I ADDed a brick or two. I replied HB was doing fine thanks for asking. Bye. And walked off before she could asked me any other questions and ended up really hitting her.

It's funny how people judge from the outside. I do not mind sitting poolside and chatting with a mom about our kids. Or with friends but it's random outside comments that stick and sometimes dig and drive me nuts. I am sure you have dealt with these type of issues too, if your child is anything like mine. If not, count yourself lucky and blessed. Maybe you will *never* encounter the Idiots, I mean, lovely people, I encounter.

Feel free to leave a comment or email me at teenahope@gmail.com

What Is Your Favorite ...?

Has your Aspie child been asked this "What is your favorite ?" question about anything? HistoryBoy gets this question about whatever he is playing with or talking about. He can never seem to just choose one. Although he and I know he has a favorite but he just can't chose it when asked, why is that?

I'll give you this as an example. HistoryBoy what is your favorite TV show that is shown on TV now. Now I know what his current favorite TV show is, he talks about, we laugh about it. (YES IT IS AN ACTUALLY CHILDREN'S SHOW YAY!!!) and note I also worded the question so he will not include his DVD collection of TV shows no longer on TV which could outweigh current TV. "Mom, I have 3, no 5 favorites or maybe 6" 5 is fine HistoryBoy. See what I mean.

Ok, Let's hear your list.
"Well, number 5 is Modern Marvels." Why do you like it? "You learn about cool stuff like engineering disasters or innovations. I really like stuff like that. Number 4 is Destroy Build Destroy. It's game show race to build a better machine that your opponents then blow theirs ups. It's awesome. Number 3 is Cash Cab, the original one, not Cash Cab Chicago." Why do you like it? "Sometimes I am good at the trivia. I know the history. I don't know all the answers though. But it is fun to watch with you, mom." (There was a hug given in there) Number 2 is a tie between Wild Kratts and Myth Busters. I can't decide which I like better. Why? "Wild Kratts is just awesome with the animals. Zaboomafoo would be on my list if it was still on. The Kratt Brothers are cool so they would be on my list twice." Ok, and Myth Busters? Myth Busters ALWAYS blow something up just because they can." Which brings up to number 1. "Number 1 is Phineas and Ferb. They are brothers. They have a pet platypus and they drive their sister insane. It is so funny."

All of that was to find out his one favorite TV show, which I knew was Phineas and Ferb. Please do not ask him which is his favorite plane, battleship or WWII battle unless you are looking to have a conversation of at least 30 minutes or more with my son. He will go into detail. I asked for detail here because I knew I would get some and not on others. But imagine that when he decides to give you a list of 10, with several ties in there.

His mind is AMAZING. The fact that is can use and store all the information he does makes me wish I had half of his brain capacity. Ok, maybe I did at one point, but I think it leaked out! LOL

Hope you are having a wonderful day! Until tomorrow.

Email me at teenahope@gmail.com