At a young age HistoryBoy had to handle bullying, but he didn't know it. I did. To him the were his friends, his classmates, the kids he played with on the playground. No one knew anything was wrong until I said something. So be aware, and listen to what your children say.
When HistoryBoy was in Kindergarten, he had a hard time adjusting at first to the 1/2 day routine. He had just been diagnosed with ADHD and was struggling. He was switched to the all day Kindergarten curriculum and started to flourish. It was amazing. What he struggled with in a 1/2 day he did awesome with in an all day class. Not exactly sure how that one works, but in his case, it did.
However, he came home within a few weeks, and he was using the work freak. I don't use this word at least not in respect to my son or around my son. When he was having a meltdown would use it to describe himself, saying "I'm a freak" He would cry and I would soothe him as best I could. I came to find out that his "friends" were calling him a freak as recess when he didn't interact with them. The problem was HistoryBoy wasn't reporting the bullying. He thought they were his friends. Yet on some level he must have known that freak wasn't a good thing otherwise why would he have melted down and sobbed it to me.
I brought it back to the school. They didn't know about it. If HistoryBoy doesn't report it, nothing can be done about it. I told them, he didn't understand what was going on. These kids were bullying him and calling him names yet he thought they were his friends, because he didn't know the difference. He knows now because I have told him. If someone calls you names, they are not your friend. If someone picks on you, they are not your friend. If someone hurts you, they are not your friend.
It is was so hard to get him to understand this though. Children, like adults, can show two sides, one to teachers and another to others. Just because someone talks to you, doesn't mean they like you or are you friend. Not everyone in your class in your going to be your friend. How do you explain this to a 5 or 6 year old who sees everyone equally. In his eyes everyone is nice and are his friends.
My solution was not to burst his bubble. I wanted his world to be safe and wonderful, and if that is the way he sees it for now, let him. It will change as he grows up, but if someone messes with him, this mama bear is going to eat them alive. You can be sure of that. I don't care if he realizes he is being made fun of or picked on or not. No one has the right to do that to another child, regardless. Just because my child doesn't realize he is being bullied doesn't mean these other children should not be stopped now.
I am not above being a b*tch mom. I have the school directory. I know who the kid is and I can call his mom and talk to her about it. Let's see what she has to say. Maybe she'll spank him or maybe the apple didn't fall far of the tree but you do what you have to do to protect your child. If that doesn't work, don't be afriad to take it to the school and let them know what is going on and make sure they do something about it.
I hope my little tirade gave some insight...more tomorrow (or the next day)
Feel free to leave a comment or email me at teenahope@gmail.com
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