REBLOG - WAY too Literal

from 8/24/11

We all know that our Aspies can be literal. HistoryBoy is very much so but it has become less and less noticeable. Maybe I am just used to it, or maybe it is because he knows he is too literal and has been using his literalness for humor with plays on words and so forth. I am happy about this because from I have read and learned from others, for most Aspies, a sense of humor is non existent but back to my point.

(HistoryBoy LOVED this.  He said it made perfect sense!)

As I stated, HistoryBoy is very literal, I can't use colloquialisms. They just make him go huh? most times. I remember arguing with my brother one time and telling him to take his head out of his butt. HistoryBoy looks at my brother then looks at me, looks back at my brother then tells me "Mom, his head isn't up his butt. How would he get his head up his butt anyway? It's too big." I think we all laughed over that one.

(When HistoryBoy saw this scene recently, he ACTUALLY got the joke but he is 14 now, this post that is being reblogged was originally written in 2011)

Another time he wasn't paying attention to me, and I called him a space cadet. He asked me if that was an astronaut. I said not exactly. LOL

I told him he was giving me grey hair. Honestly I only have about a dozen or so grey hairs but I attribute each and every one of them to him. And he kept asking me how can he cause my hair to turn color, and he wanted to know what he has to do to make it change color. I am not sure if he wanted to understand the phenomenon or see it in action.

(I could see HistoryBoy doing this)

I have been noticing him literalness less and less though. However yesterday we were at a get together and a made a comment. He had a flying monkey stuffed toy. And I made the comment I might not be quoting it exactly right (from an 80s or 90s movie) "and monkeys might fly out my butt" HistoryBoy stared at my butt, looks at his toy monkey and says what? I laugh and repeat what I said. He looks at me again confused, "How is that even possible?" I burst out laughing.

I love my son, he makes my life interesting.

The Hope and Dream of HistoryBoy Part 2

HistoryBoy amazes me. He is sweet, smart and talented.  He wants to sing and act when he grows up.  I told him that I had nothing against that but I think he should have a back-up just in case it doesn't work out the way he hopes.

We discussed what he likes, Legos, Transformers, Star Wars, and History.  He thinks working for Lego would be awesome.  He has some great ideas for new Legos.  I told him it takes more than being good with Legos to get a job at Lego, you need a degree in whatever it is the position you want requires. He told me he likes to design things but he doesn't know if he wants to be an engineer.  I told him that that is fine.  He doesn't have to be.




I asked him what he liked and thought he would like to do.  He told me.  "I really like History, mom.  Do you think I could be a History teacher?"  I told him that that was a great idea.  He loves learning more and more about history, and he loves to share his knowledge.  I could see him doing very well.

When I mentioned this to someone, they thought it would not work because of his tendency to run on about a subject when he gets excited about it. I am not worried about that.  I have seen my son with other children, especially those younger than him, and others who are like him.  He is very empathetic.  He slows down and explains, and wants to help. He doesn't want anyone to feel left out or left behind. This is a great trait for a teacher.  He will do his best to not let his students down.  He will also be an enthusiastic teacher.  He LOVES History and LOVES sharing all that knowledge.  


Now this isn't his final decision.  He is only in 8th grade, but we've started the journey.  We begun a discussion and he didn't freak out.  He thought about it and figured out something he liked to do within the structure of what he knows.  I am proud of him.  I don't know that he won't change his mind before he's through but I'm proud that he took the first step towards his future.

Tough growing up...

HistoryBoy loves being independent.  He loves being old enough now to be left home alone for short periods (read less than 2 hours...usually less than an hour).  Enough time for him to feel good about taking care of himself for a short time but not enough for him to come up with an idea that might blow up the house.  Hey he's 13, ADHD and Asperger's.  I know the ideas that fly in and out of his head...

Trying to navigate the water of being a teenager is especially difficult for my son. He can seem so grown up, you almost forget he is still little is many ways.  He has spoken like an adult almost his whole life.  The things he is interested in and knows about amazes most.  Yet HistoryBoy is afraid of what is going to happen when he grows up.  Yet he is immature in many ways.  He is not adept in social settings.  He knows this about himself and tries so hard and often is not as successful as he wants to be or needs to be...

As I mentioned before HistoryBoy thinks that by letting go of me he will be lost.  For example, he wanted breakfast Sunday morning, so I made pancakes for him. Then he wanted more so I said I would show him how to make them. He declined and asked for oatmeal instead. I offered to show him how to make that. He declined. I told him I wanted to make him more independent. He said no, he liked me making breakfast. When I asked him why, he said he didn't want me to stop taking care of him. 

I think I need to remind him that there are so many things that he doesn't need me for, that he used to need me to change his diapers, to feed him a bottle or wipe his nose.  He used to need someone to lay his clothes out or make sure they match and remind him to brush his teeth, to wear shoes.  Ok, some of those he still needs help with sometimes.  He is a 13 year old boy after all.

He is so afraid that if I show how to do grown up things or allows himself to grow up that I am not going to be there for him...  that he won't be my little boy anymore... He doesn't realize what it means to be a mom...