Overwhelmed....

I know this blog is supposed to be about me Overcoming being Overwhelmed but right now, I don't know how to do that,  I am overwhelmed, lost. Going through my days with a smile pasted on my face because that is what I am supposed to do, what I HAVE to do.  History Boy worries himself sick if I am sick and not able to help him with his homework.  Angus thinks I need rest but thinks I should get out more.

I am drowning and I don't know what to do.  Let's teak this med, or this one.  My health sucks but did I have to pass on my sucky genes to my son.  He is only 12 and has so much more to handle than I did.  At least I was 15 when I was diagnosed with Lupus.  At least his doctors seeem rght on top of everything.  If one more of my doc say, let's try this for  months and see what happens.

I am already in pain, I already ache and don't sleep well and they wonder why I might be depressed,  I never wanted to be this sick.  I always wanted to be able to take care of myself.  It sucks that I can't all the time.  This was never supposed to be me.  SO why am I stuck here?  Fightint my own battles while watching my son fight ones just as tough if not harder.

I know I can't give up, but I need to cry.  I am just can't take much more. I really can't.

I hope you all understand this blabbering blob

Love, Teena