Bullying 1001... (Not 101 because we've been there done that)

My son always amazes me. He is so smart and has so much to offer. Yet he is unfortunately getting used to being picked on.

I received a phone call from the principal of his school letting me know that they were investigating an instance of him being bullied. It happens every year, I should be used to it myself but it angers me so much. But that is besides my point, he came home and I asked him about it. Someone on the bus had called him an F*n retard. He ignored the kid. He told me the kid is always making remarks, but another child overheard it this time and reported it.

Will something come of it? Probably not. While these new bullying laws are supposed to help kids, it makes districts very wary of classifying a child as a bully because of all that entails. I think it was better when the child was reported, they got in trouble. Principals office then detention, then suspension after multiple offenses. I feel like I am helpless in this situation. If it is decided the child is a bully, he will have to have counseling. I am not saying it wont help at all but where does it truly give consequences for actions?

My son was picked on in third grade by a child (a grade ahead of him but who also lived in our community). It was before these bullying laws went into effect. The boy would not leave my son alone. At first he ignored him, then he told him to stop, then he pushed him away. Finally he punched the kid in the nose. I talked to him about it because while I truly believe he gave the other child enough notice, he threw the first punch. I really do not have a problem with him defending himself but I don't want him to be seen as the aggressor.

As it turned out, thankfully the principal agreed with me. He said it as obvious that my son wasn't trying to truly harm the other child, he just wanted to be left alone, so he was not going to be suspended (which was the rule at the time for hitting/fighting) He gave him lunchtime detention (no recess) in his office for 3 days. I do have to say that the child no longer picked on my son on the bus or in school that year. He got detentions but he still lived in our community and was a problem to deal with in that way as well. But that is a story for another day...

PS: Does it make me a bad mom that I was proud that took that another child down a notch?