Balancing HistoryBoy's Needs and Mine

The other day, in "Pushing Myself Too Far, " I talked about how when I pushed myself how exhausted I get and how long it takes for me to recoup. Here it is Day 5 and I am still trying to recoup. I haven't been able to get out of bed to do more than a load of laundry. I had to have someone drive my son to school for me yesterday because I just couldn't focus well enough to drive.

HistoryBoy for all of his problems is good when I do not feel well. He will play quietly, read a book, play a video game, or watch tv and basically not get into trouble so I can rest and has done so as long as I can remember. All I have to say is mommy isn't feeling well and needs your help. Can you be good while I take nap? I used to lock my bedroom door when he was smaller to make sure he couldn't get into trouble but now he is old enough to be able to fend for himself for basics. He can get juice boxes and go-gurts out of the fridge or whatever other snacks he can find. He knows what he is allowed to eat and is good about it too.

My problems is that he will give up his fun stuff if I don't feel well. It is one thing for me to stay home from a party because I am not up to it or to not go to the movies, but he should go and enjoy these times with his family and friends if he is able. But if given a choice he will choose to stay home with me. He doesn't want to go have fun if I have to stay home in bed and rest. My husband tries to convince him to go to the store to get dog food with him, (PetSmart is one of HistoryBoy fave places, he can share all his animal knowledge with unsuspecting customers and employees) or go to a movie that he really wants to see. HistoryBoy's first question is, "Is mommy going?" So sometimes I push myself more than I should because I know HistoryBoy will not go unless I do and I know he needs to get out more. He needs the socialization and forcing him to go without me, will only make him either meltdown, or worry the whole time, or a combination of the two.

I try to make HistoryBoy remember that he is the child and I am the mom and I have daddy to take care of me. He doesn't need to worry so much. But that is what an Asperger's child does, worry, worry, worry. And it is my job as his mom to figure out how to ease it, and if pushing myself a little every once in a while, even if it means a few more days in bed once in a while, I have to do it for him. He deserves the best I can give him.