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Friday, January 6, 2012

Watching My Son Shut Down Pt 2

I am at my wits end. Angus and I do not know what to do. I have asked, joked, pleaded, yelled. Nothing gets through to HistoryBoy. He is pulling further and further away from school. Something is pushing his away. He loves school, or has loved school. I am not saying he will always love to learn but it isn't something that just shuts off like a switch. Something has to make you not want to be there.

I was out of ideas... I decided to approach HistoryBoy karate instructor, Yoda, and ask for his intervention. His is all about helping the whole child and if anyone could get through to him, I figured Yoda could. He took HistoryBoy aside before class and they were in his office for quite a while (class started without them). When they came out HistoryBoy was smiling and Yoda nodded at me and HistoryBoy came over to me and hugged me and a story poured out of him. It was not a complete story but I was grateful for the pieces he was able to tell me.

After class, I thanked Yoda for his help. He said HistoryBoy was going to be just fine. When we went home. I talked to HistoryBoy some more to get more details from him. Apparently, he was being bullied in school and on the bus by 1 student in particular. The student called him names and would hit him. This went on every day. I reported it.

The bus was easy. I got witnesses. Thankfully HistoryBoy has friends on the bus.

The classroom is tougher. The teacher doesn't believe the other child is mean to HistoryBoy in the classroom. I do not want to be rude to her and smack her upside her head but if he is verbally and physically abusive in one realm, what is to stop him in another when her back is turned?

HistoryBoy is still dealing with this. He is still not 100% happy going to school. His innocence/ security was stolen. How do you get that back once it is taken? He used to believe school was awesome and great. Now he is afraid of it. I am trying to put the wonder and excitement back into learning for him. I am not letting my AMAZING son slip through the cracks. He is too special for that.

3 comments:

  1. Hang in there because bullies are the biggest sore spot in the child's growth process in the academic environment. Not knowing what is going on is the worst!!! At least now you know what happened. Follow up with your son daily because if this kid is continuing to do this, you can file a complaint with the principal (u should tell him if you haven't) and have a meeting with the teacher/parent of child.

    It could be that the child is seeing it at home, etc and he thinks it gives him the right to do it to another!

    Our daughter had her hair pulled by an older kid in the bus line for 2 months before we finally found out. And it was random. I told the teacher right away and she went and watched the kids during line up. She emailed me that "sure enough, this older kid (one of her old students) did just that. She pulled her aside and gave her a talking to. To date (knock on wood) it hasn't happened again!!

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  2. We can never give up.

    NEVER.

    My 15 yr old aspie pushes me to the limit and I tell myself, if I'm not his biggest fan then who will be??

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  3. Thanks! I know. We are still trying to work through it. Thankfully there are activities in school he *does* want to be a part of. So at least on those days, I can say, hey don't forget you have this today and he brightens up. Still have a ways to go tho.

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