How to do qualify a good day? Good days come in several versions (in my book anyway).
First, there is the day you realize one of the tics that come with Asperger's have disappeared and you celebrate with your little one, knowing full well that another tic might come along. HistoryBoy had a habit for a little while, that if someone asked him a question that required an emotional response that he couldn't answer he would baa like a sheep. At first I laughed, then I scolded. Once I realized he couldn't control it, he and I tried to work on it together. Eventually it disappeared. You celebrate the little victories, maybe not so little victory when you realize how hard it was for him to overcome.
Next, there are the days when you realize that there hasn't been a meltdown of any sort. Don't get too excited, it just might be preparing you for a horrid day tomorrow, but enjoy it and praise your little one for having been able to cope with everything that he was handed in a day and not melting down. Maybe it was an "easier day" of being at home with just you but that doesn't make it any less significant for your child to realize what he can accomplish. I think it gets easier AND harder at the same time as children get older to accomplish this. (I will go into the more later in another blog)
Also, there are also the times when you see your child struggling to keep cool. You know they are headed toward a meltdown but they are trying hard to not melt down and to keep themselves under control or just letting you know "Mom, please get me out of here, I can't take this anymore. I am going to loose my noodle (or some version of that)". These are hard won skills. They should be praised. Even if a meltdown does occur, you need to acknowledge what has occurred as a victory for your child. They are trying to overcome what scares and overwhelms them, whether or not they succeeded, you are headed in the right direction and THAT makes it a VERY GOOD DAY!
First, there is the day you realize one of the tics that come with Asperger's have disappeared and you celebrate with your little one, knowing full well that another tic might come along. HistoryBoy had a habit for a little while, that if someone asked him a question that required an emotional response that he couldn't answer he would baa like a sheep. At first I laughed, then I scolded. Once I realized he couldn't control it, he and I tried to work on it together. Eventually it disappeared. You celebrate the little victories, maybe not so little victory when you realize how hard it was for him to overcome.
Next, there are the days when you realize that there hasn't been a meltdown of any sort. Don't get too excited, it just might be preparing you for a horrid day tomorrow, but enjoy it and praise your little one for having been able to cope with everything that he was handed in a day and not melting down. Maybe it was an "easier day" of being at home with just you but that doesn't make it any less significant for your child to realize what he can accomplish. I think it gets easier AND harder at the same time as children get older to accomplish this. (I will go into the more later in another blog)
Also, there are also the times when you see your child struggling to keep cool. You know they are headed toward a meltdown but they are trying hard to not melt down and to keep themselves under control or just letting you know "Mom, please get me out of here, I can't take this anymore. I am going to loose my noodle (or some version of that)". These are hard won skills. They should be praised. Even if a meltdown does occur, you need to acknowledge what has occurred as a victory for your child. They are trying to overcome what scares and overwhelms them, whether or not they succeeded, you are headed in the right direction and THAT makes it a VERY GOOD DAY!
I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to leave a comment or email me at teenahope@gmail.com
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