Helping HistoryBoy Mange Stress

I can't just go up to him and say HistoryBoy Stop being so stressed out. If it were that simple, none of us would get stressed out, but I did some research. In doing so, I found our important skills to help him manage in stressful situations. These skills are awareness, acceptance, coping and dealing. Each skill has its own value in different situations. I will try to better explain them and how they apply to real life situation from what I have read and how we have used them with HistoryBoy.

Awareness

This is simply getting a better understanding of the situation at hand and their role in it. Basically what *is* going on? What am I *supposed* to be doing right now? It is amazing how often I can ask my son this question and his answer will be, I don't know. I have to keep reminding him to pay attention and be aware.

Acceptance

This is realizing that some things are within your control and somethings are not. You are only in control of you. You cannot control what someone else is doing or the noises they are making or whatever it is that might bother you and cause you stress. None of that is within your control. Only what you do is in your control. You have to accept that. This is a big one for our Aspies. My son gets very upset because sometimes he can't even control himself. Basically he feels he is fighting himself to keep control, and it is very hard for an 11 year old.

Coping

If you feel know you are going to be entering a stressful situation, prepare for it. This is where the strategies you have learned to help you cope will help. Will a walk before you help you settle down to work? Can a pair of sound-blocking headphones (these are AMAZING for HistoryBoy) enable you to be more productive in the classroom because the noise is overwhelming?

Dealing (Plan of Action)

This stage is where you make changes in your behavior to counteract or reduce the level of stress. What steps did you decide would help you cope better? Put that plan into action and stick with it. You will notice a HUGE difference in your child. I know I did. We were able to go out to eat at restaurants, go shopping in stores. We could do things that were previously impossible for him without these guides in place. It is amazing was a little (A LOT really) of structure can do for these kids.