HistoryBoy Trying to Understand Emotions

HistoryBoy's Asperger's has its ups and downs, as we all know. My least favorite difficulty is his expressing emotion and understanding emotion in others. He will most likely have this difficulty all of his life. We are working hard to overcome it, helping to read other people, and understand why people say certain things and do certain things. But I even have to pause sometimes and think about why I said something or did something because to me it is second nature.

In all fairness, HistoryBoy has gotten so much better at expressing his emotions than he used to be. He also understands some nuances better than others. While this is a good thing he still doesn't understand when someone says something in anger they don't always mean it or how when someone says one thing, they mean something else.

Our little HistoryBoy and HyperGirl are growing up. A little while back, they have decided they were boyfriend and girlfriend. To everyone, all that means is that they hold hands on the way to the bus sometimes. HistoryBoy is ok with that, it means his best friend is his girl friend, so I guess to his mind, life is perfect.

The other day, I do not know exactly what happened, except the two of them had a fight. They do that from time to time. One will huff and puff and go home. But this time HistoryBoy didn't come home to me, he went off to play with some other kids in the neighborhood and at dinner time I had to go search him out. He was all wound up and I had to really work to get him calm. He told me HyperGirl had broken up with him. He was devastated. Now I know that they had a fight and I know that she probably said this to him. But now I need to explain that this is not the end of the world. HyperGirl and he will most likely be friends again tomorrow, as always.

He and I talk about their past fights and how someone usually goes home mad. I asked him if he ever considered not being her friend, "but she said" Ignore what she said. HyperGirl says things when she is angry and she apologizes when she sees you or she hugs you the next day, doesn't she? "Yes." She has some of the same troubles expressing her emotions. She just overflows with them sometimes. "Oh, I get it. I think, but that is what I like about her. She can understand me too."

Don't worry. Talk to HyperGirl. I bet she misses you already.