Happy Shopping!!

Shopping!  It is the biggest shopping day of the year!! Where are you?!?  I am probably in bed by the time this blog posts.  I will be shopping late Thursday night (Yes I am one of those) an early Friday and hopefully in bed by early morning.  What about you?!? I'll post my purchases on Monday! Have a great weekend!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I just wanted to wish all my friends and followers a VERY Happy Thanksgiving 

and to all of my Jewish friends, 

Happy Hanukkah, 

Or Happy Thanksgivukkah!

The Good, the Bad and the Video Games...

Technology is a wonderful thing.  We can do so much, so much faster, it is amazing.  Yet it has its drawbacks. In our household we have a PC, an iPad, 3 laptops, and 2 smartphones.  This means that there is more technology than people in our home, unless our pets start learning to log on.  And that list doesn't even include the gaming systems.  It is too much?

I am addicted, I know I am, especially to social media.  Facebook and Twitter are my drugs.  I am trying not to pass this on to my son, but he has been using technology since he was less than 2 years old.  I think its build into his DNA.  LOL.  I know it can be a bad thing, especially for a child with obsessive tendencies. SO I try to limit myself, so he sees it. Angus is just as bad as HistoryBoy though.  As soon as a new game comes out that he is interested in, he gets it and plays it until he beats it.  I sort of lose my husband for days or weeks, depending on the difficulty of the game.  There goes our family time and alone time...

I won't say I have never played them.  In fact there are some I love and still play but I know what my limits are (or should be).  I try to play when he isn't home, so I am not taking away *his* time with me.  However, he doesn't see it that way.  He wants to play the games and finding the balance is very difficult.  How much is too much?

Hiding From Bullies

I am so tired of bullying.  I am tired of my son being harassed on the bus and at school.  It is to the point where he does not want to ride the bus and I have to drive him to school in the mornings.  It is too early in the year for him to be this upset...



I'll back up, for those of you that don't know.  HistoryBoy has a bully problem.  Unfortunately he almost always has a bully problem.  He is a smart, unusual and mostly quiet inside himself kid, which makes him a perfect target. The big problem is he is super smart, he knows most of the answers in science and social studies and has HUGE background knowledge in addition to what he is learning.  It means teachers are impressed, other students, mo so much.

The issue this year stems from several students calling him a Retard.  He didn't even know what it was.  He came home from school asking me what it meant.  I told him if the bully calls him it again, simply tell him, "I am smarter than you so what does that make you?" That seemed to make him happier, I got him on the bus the day I gave him that ammo.  He came home from school and told me the same child had called him a douche when he gave his reply. I explained what that was and why he was *NOT* that. I told him he needed to say "Do you even know what that it?"  Because I can almost guarantee the bully does not, he is simply repeating something he heard.

HistoryBoy has been dealing with bullies since about 3rd grade.  Before that the kids in his class all knew him and were his friends, and understanding of his quirks.  In 4th grade, he hated going to school on the bus.  We complained and a child got removed from the bus. But it took more than just me and Matt reporting him.  The child finally harassed someone else and now that it was a pattern..  Move forward 2 years.  Same child is now on the middle school bus with him, harassing him, calling names, hitting.  Matt reported him to bus driver, driver told him to be quiet and sit down.  SO when he finally pushed the kid back, guess who go into trouble.  We had witnesses on the bus, along with HistoryBoy's testimony about what happened but they found "no evidence" and child remained on bus, so I had to drive my son to school for the rest of the school year or until we moved toward end of the year and he rode another bus.

This year, I know I started talking about the bullying.  A TEACHER heard him being harassed and reported it. They said they found no evidence. Part of the problem is HistoryBoy himself.  He tells me he ignores them and tries to not let them bother him because he knows he is not what they call him.  So as far as the school is concerned, he is mentally fine.  But he is not ok, just because he is not letting the bully make him cry in school or hiding in the bathroom does not mean he is ok! They are not the one dealing with my son at home and seeing the effects in the morning if I try to get him to ride the bus or after school when he gets off the bus.
I am at my wit's end and I need help.

I don't want my son to be a statistic.

Hopefully Not...

Some of you know that HistoryBoy has been sick since just after school started.  It sucks.  His immune system is not fighting back the way it should. He is in and out of school.  Doc says it a virus, then another virus so no antibiotics to help his body fight back.  Now he is on one because he has been down and out so long.  

Doc is going to run tests, blood-work and such. Testing for Mono and such, but also for auto-immune like Lupus.  I am praying that it isn't the case.  He is 2 years younger than me when I was diagnosed and I can't help feel overwhelmed by the idea.  He is too young to have to worry about something like this.  I was too but I was more mature and had better social skills (I think lol) than he does.  

He loses so much ground being at home with just me, socially, I mean, I think.   I can be his mom, that's all. I can talk to him the same way I always do, but I know him and can intercept and dodge the information that is HistoryBoy's mind.  I've been navigating these waters for a few years now, lol. I can try to teach him how to interact with his peers but I can't be 13 and actually interact with him. 

We need a break around here. We need to be healthy and feel good, hopefully at the same time. It would be nice for a change. 

Tough growing up...

HistoryBoy loves being independent.  He loves being old enough now to be left home alone for short periods (read less than 2 hours...usually less than an hour).  Enough time for him to feel good about taking care of himself for a short time but not enough for him to come up with an idea that might blow up the house.  Hey he's 13, ADHD and Asperger's.  I know the ideas that fly in and out of his head...

Trying to navigate the water of being a teenager is especially difficult for my son. He can seem so grown up, you almost forget he is still little is many ways.  He has spoken like an adult almost his whole life.  The things he is interested in and knows about amazes most.  Yet HistoryBoy is afraid of what is going to happen when he grows up.  Yet he is immature in many ways.  He is not adept in social settings.  He knows this about himself and tries so hard and often is not as successful as he wants to be or needs to be...

As I mentioned before HistoryBoy thinks that by letting go of me he will be lost.  For example, he wanted breakfast Sunday morning, so I made pancakes for him. Then he wanted more so I said I would show him how to make them. He declined and asked for oatmeal instead. I offered to show him how to make that. He declined. I told him I wanted to make him more independent. He said no, he liked me making breakfast. When I asked him why, he said he didn't want me to stop taking care of him. 

I think I need to remind him that there are so many things that he doesn't need me for, that he used to need me to change his diapers, to feed him a bottle or wipe his nose.  He used to need someone to lay his clothes out or make sure they match and remind him to brush his teeth, to wear shoes.  Ok, some of those he still needs help with sometimes.  He is a 13 year old boy after all.

He is so afraid that if I show how to do grown up things or allows himself to grow up that I am not going to be there for him...  that he won't be my little boy anymore... He doesn't realize what it means to be a mom...

Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas

Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas is a beautiful song he wrote to his wife who suffers from an autoimmune disease like Lupus.  (I had heard it was Lupus but who knows) If you've never heard this song, you need to listen to the words, and watch the video. Lately it speaks so strongly to how I feel.  Waking up with my body screaming, knowing I can't give in but wanting to so badly.

"Oh what the hell she says
I just can't win for losing
And she lays back down"

I can't say how many times I have felt this way.  I have been trying to handle this and not let it get to me or even let on how bad I feel, maybe that is why this song keeps making me cry almost every time I hear it lately.  

You may not believe me but my body thinks it is about 60 years old, while I am in reality 37.  I just want to feel better.  No, I don't want another medication that will maybe help.  I am on so many medications, that I feel like a pharmacy. Some of my friends call me and ask me about this or that medication because they know that I know a lot about various meds between myself and HistoryBoy.  

There is nothing I can really do to prevent my body from wreaking havoc on itself.  Most of the time, I just deal with it, get used to it and move on... but I lately wish it didn't always hurt so bad.  



There is a great article that talks more about it.

Mom, You're a Teacher...

HistoryBoy loves school, normally, but when he is frustrated, his goto response is "Mom, you're a teacher, can't you just be my teacher?" Now I have thought this over many, MANY times. Sometimes I think it would be great, we wouldn't have to stick to an exact timetable.  His learning could be more focused on what he enjoys and still follow the standard curriculum.  It could be fun!

Then I wake up and realize that I am not completely equipped to do this... I am a math teacher.  I am not a English, Social Studies person AT ALL.  I loved science and math in school myself, and while I have NEVER discouraged HistoryBoy's love of history, a lot of it bores me to tears.

I am also not a grammar teacher. I write well now but I do not think that I am equipped to teach it. I hated learning all the extra vocabulary words even if they helped me. P.S.  I have spell check and grammar check on for my writing to help me.

Realize I am not saying I couldn't, I just don't think that it is in his best interest. The teacher in me wants to.  We could have all the cool day trips to learn about stuff.  Philadelphia day trips I always enjoyed to see the History there! I grew up in Woodbury (5 min from where I live now LOL), founded in 1683, a city rich in History. The Battleship NJ is close, museums are close. Several zoos are close by... There is so much we could do if he wasn't in physical school every day.  I could see myself enjoying it and all the time I would spend with him...

Biggest drawback is that HistoryBoy is WAY to dependent on me as it is.  I am his crutch, his security blanket to protect his from the world.  He needs to develop skills to depend on me less not more...  He needs the socialization that school brings, the extra-curricular activities that help him learn to interact with his peers better.  I am not his peer, I can't teach him that.

On the days when I watch him struggle to handle what is going on, the mom in me wants to remove him from the situation and simply protect him.  It's my job right?  Yes, but it is also my job to make sure he grows up to be a wonderful, successful adult who contributes to society, so I have to withdraw myself as his crutch and let him stumble a little, even when it kills me to watch.  Knowing in the long run, it will be better for him.

Why Blog?...

Someone asked me, why blog?  Why do you blog if no one reads it?

There are two answers to this...

One, because I have 13 followers for the blog itself and 100+ member in the Overcoming being Overwhelmed group on Facebook. So while I guess I am not the most popular blog out there, I get read (even if its only by mostly my family and friends...Thank you btw!).

Two, I've been writing since I was in grade school. Poetry, short stories, diaries... It is something I need to do.  Sometimes it is just to clear my head.  Other times I simply have something I want to say or a funny story to share. When HistoryBoy was little, I wrote short stories for him about my childhood and my dog Ginger, most of which actually featured my little brother, Engineer.  (Maybe I should share those stories. LOL).

The long and the short of is I like to write, sometimes LOVE it, and sometimes simply have to. Without this particular media, I would be simply publishing my ideas in my journal possibly sharing with some friends. This allows me to share with a lot more people, and if anyone gets something out of it, if I help even one person, then that's AWESOME.

Sometimes Staying Positive is Tough

As I mentioned previously, our trips to Florida was all about getting healthy and feeling better. And I do feel better. At least I think I was. I was breathing better, asthma-wise and allergy wise. My medications were continuing to help my migraines get better. Ironically, it has NEVER been as hot in sunny Florida as our Jersey summer was here nor as humid.  My achiness is ALWAYS milder as well. So all of *that* is positive. Yet as soon as I come back... I get sick.  Jersey germs suck.  This year I was to the doctor 3 times and have had to have blood work done twice before Fall even started...

My body fights me.  I wake up achy, and I say to myself I am used to it.  I have been dealing with this since I was 15.  I can handle, right? I know it doesn't really get better, as in, I will never be 100% healthy again, or anything like that.  I will be taking my medications for the rest of my life just to make myself feel a little better.  Meds for headaches, for body aches and more recently for depression.  Like I said I am used to it but its hard.  I would like to wake up one morning and be able to say I slept well and I feel good, even if it is only for a little bit...

I am not complaining, at least not in any major way.  It's just hard to stay positive when you feel cruddy all the time. AND it is not something I want to pass on to HistoryBoy, who is also sick a lot more than a little boy should be.  I want him to stay positive.  I don't want to hear him say, 'why am I sick again?" or 'my immune systems sucks like yours mom.'  

I have to change my outlook, bring back my sunnier self.  I have to figure out how to stay positive, how to wake up and even if I feel like a train wreck, pretend, put my happy face forward so he sees it. Maybe if I pretend enough. I'll believe it.

Needing A Nap

Summers are my "GetHealthy" time.  We go to Florida to rest and I try to to just that... Get healthy.

Especially on my "Get Healthy" trips, I am making sure I stick to my naps. If I verge from the norm, how will I get healthy? HistoryBoy is used to it, mostly. Although instead of his just using his books or the computer to amuse himself, he has his grandmom and grandpop. Two years ago, my brother and his wife and their son are here also, so he is in happy, mostly. He gets along great with my nephew, Happy, who was only 2 1/2 at the time.  HistoryBoy loves showing his planes off, or his cars, or books and Happy is only to willing to go wherever HistoryBoy leads.

I need those naps, which sucks.  If I avoid them or miss because I doing something else, I crash and burn.  My body just pretty much shuts down on me. I can only push too far and I could be sitting there next to you holding a conversation and simply fall asleep.  

My problem is how will I ever function like a normal person again if I keep giving into my body and not pushing, or is this simply my new normal and I have to adjust and not expect more?  

I keep hoping once day I will just wake up and I will feel good. As I get older I know that it isn't going to happen simply because I am getting older, more quirks and problems arise as you get older.  No, I am not old but I feel like I am sometimes.  

I need my body to cooperate and so far the only way to do that is by letting it have the naps it wants or needs to function.  It sucks, but what else can I do...

Being a Mom

I love being a mom. I don't know if I can ever say that enough. It is a hectic, sometimes thankless job, but watching him grow and change everyday is AMAZING. He has grown from a child who struggled everyday to handle noises, distraction and generally being overwhelmed by the world to a tween/teen who know what his limitations are.  

• He can say Mom I NEED to get out of here now when he can't handle the situation or is going into sensory overload.  
• He can tell me Mom I need another pill, my medication is wearing off and I need it to help me stay calm.
• He has his own tastes in movies and music that are no longer just listening and watching what I do.  
• He is a compassionate, caring, loving young man who wants to help and will help anyone who needs it.
• He has a love of music that is wonderful to see and a beautiful voice to match.

I am profoundly grateful that God gave me such a wonderful present, even if I wasn't quite ready for it. He knew what he was doing and I can't imagine my life without him.

Learning to love the Library, again.

I got out of the habit of going to the Library regularly when I was in college.  Growing up we were there regularly.  It was the only was we got to read new books to read (unless we got them as presents or from a yard sale).  In College, I only used it for studying. 

When HistoryBoy was little we would go to the Library events they had but we only took out one or two books and then stopped because he got a lot of books for gifts and B&N gift cards. HistoryBoy always uses his school library (mostly to take out books about the Titanic and other disasters), so much so that when he was "graduating" from the elementary to the middle school, the librarian at his school was getting rid of an old copy of a Titanic book and asked if he wanted it (DUH).

Me, I usually looked to buy books at the store, yard sales, the Paper Back Trader, Paper Back Swap, or borrow books from friends and family.  But lately I haven't been doing it as much just because buying books can be an expensive habit as much as I love them.

Now we are library fanatics again. The library has an eBook borrowing service. It rocks. AND if you read my previous blog, we now are supporting HistoryBoy's audio-book habit.  I can only afford so many, like the 3 he has, yeah that about the extent of my ability right now. So we are at the library several times a week now.  
I'm back into the reading habit/addiction I used to have.  Angus swears I read too fast to be human, but I love Love LOVE reading, finding out something new, visiting new places, even if fictional, very few movies EVER due justice to the world I've built up in my mind. I read 6 books in the past few weeks. Started and stopped reading a few others in there, have to go back to finish but another book grabbed my attention so I am in the middle of 2 books and about to go pick up a 3rd from the library because my hold just came in.  LOVE IT! 

If I sound excited I am, Angus doesn't share the same book tastes as me but NOW I have HistoryBoy to share this with.  He is just as excited now.  He asks me to help him find books and what I think he would like. (Hunger Games and Percy Jackson on next on his list!) Books I read and enjoyed, we can talk about now.  

This post probably sounds silly, but it is what it is.  A Thankful mom, sharing her joy! 

The Hard Road to Reading

Everyone who know HistoryBoy knows he loves to read.  Give him a book on Disasters, WWII, planes, trains, battleships, we are god to go.  He will pore over them for hours and hours. One of his favorite books is The Encyclopedia of Aircraft of WWII.  I think it was a b-day gift from HyperGirl and SassyGirl.  They know what he likes. LOL 

Fiction is a sticky issue.  He will read what he has to for school but beyond that. 

It used to be relatively easy. Magic School Bus were full of information, fact filled fiction with a TV series on PBS he loved.  The books started younger and then there was a chapter book series. Perfect!  The fact that Ms. Frizzle was a little nuts made it funny for him too and introduced him to puns and jokes which was great.


From there he jumped right into the Magic Tree House series.  It was also wonderful.  Stories filled with learning and every book had a reference guide that he could read to give him more info about the topic. AWESOME!  

After those, it was hit or miss until I remembered Encyclopedia Brown.  I loved them as a kid and so did my brother.  It took reading the first two chapters to him on the first book to get him interested. Then he kept reading and finished out most of the series.  It wasn't a fact filled at the previous series but it was logical and made sense so it worked.

I've tried to get him into other books and series but it has been difficult.  I sit and read with him and if the book grabs him he reads if not... Like I said difficult.  He complains it is boring.  There are not a lot of fact filled fiction or fiction book about disasters that are age appropriate.  It a roadblock I have been trying to overcome.

This year we hit a MAJOR obstacle . In his Literacy/Language Arts class he need to read 40 books this year. 40!?!  That's a book a week AND only 2 are non-fiction (biographies).  So that's 38! FICTION books for the kid who is not interested so he can pass 7th grade. HELP!!

I decided to just try a new series.  I picked up The Capture by Kathryn Lasky.  It the first on the Guardian of the Ga'hoole series. (And the made a movie of it about 5? years ago called the Legends of the Guardians.  I figured if I could get him reading the book, then watch the movie it might help.  I read the first chapter to him and he was hooked but it was taking him FOREVER to get through it.  

Then I remembered that in 2nd grade he loved Jigsaw Jones (an encyclopedia brown wannabe for younger kids) and he had listened to them on CD when he went to bed and loved it. I went to the library and found the CD Audio-book for The Journey.  He put it in his CD player and listened to it while reading the book.  It was AMAZING! He not only FINISHED the book but asked me to get him the second one.  (Library here I come!) 


Since then he has completed reading 4 books in total. He has read a Lego Hero Factory Book (without an audio-book), The Capture by Kathryn Lasky, The Journey by Kathryn Lasky and Diary of a Wimpy Kid #4. The library has audio-books for them.  Its been great.

Apparently now reading only one book at a time is boring.He has started reading 4 others, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, The Strange Case of Origami Yoda, A Curious Man; The Strange and Brilliant Life of Robert "Believe It Or Not" Ripley, and The Bad Beginning.  

SO for everyone that has a kid who doesn't like to read or struggles, try what I did.  It may work, no guarantees, but it can't hurt and I am so happy that now I can share my love of reading with him. He is excited about reading now.  It grabs him and makes him want to read more.  And it only took pairing him and his book up with an audio-book.