5 Things I Did NOT Need to See Poolside

#5: Big Man with the BIG belly. If your belly if so big it hangs down over your bathing suit, get a bigger bathing suit to tuck it into, please. Or maybe a cover up? I know you have as much right to be here as I do, but if your belly hangs more than an inch or two past the waistband of your bathing suit, get a new suit please, that is all I am asking!

#4: Girls who wear bathing suits with fake tops. If they are fake, maybe I can't tell, so don't let me know they are fake by wringing out your boobs poolside please. This is a family resort. I know they make those push up bra bathing suits out of foam and they probably do hold a LOT of water but hey guess what, you bought the suit, wear it! Or go to the ladies room and wring it out. I do not want to explain to my very curious 10 year old why you are grabbing your boobs. Thanks.

#3: Babbling Drunk Grandma. When I am relaxing in the hot tub, please do not try to hold my hand. I do not know you. You were slightly offended I did not want to hold your hand. But again, I didn't know you. I didn't even know your name. I had just climbed into the hot tub and sat down and finally had to sit on my own hand so you would not try to hold it, very weird.

#2: Boy losing his swim trunks. Ok, I used to be a young girl once and drooled over young men, but is it me or are the young men wearing their shorts lower and lower? I swear if they were any lower on a few of thew here I would be seeing the whole package. So young gentlemen, this is for you, if I can see you pubic bone, I am seeing too much of you, especially, if I am seeing your "happy" trail. You may have a good body and want to show it off, but I am trying to teach my son how to dress appropriately and you are NOT helping my cause at all. Not that I think he really notices you, thankfully you are not a boat, or plane so he is not interested in what you are wearing. So for that at least I am grateful.

#1: Any Woman sunbathing topless by the pool. I should point out all these women are face down, it is a family pool, but still. These women drive me nuts, especially the ones who have kids and then get upset when the kids throw water on them and they jump up and forget they are topless. DOH! I mean come on! I know some people really don't want tans lines but is it that big of a deal at a family pool? Get a grip. I do not want my son to see your boobs lady! Keep your top on or go to a tanning salon! Thank you!

That is all my griping or today! Until tomorrow

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